Act III: Cuidado; Accountability Won't Be Held

you have been warned upon reading this.
i am no going to be held responsible for how you may feel after reading this.
you have been warned.

i'm a mess. that's the best way to describe it.
but you know, who isn't anymore.
some of us are just a bit more organized than the rest.

you deserve so much better.
you are so beautiful, you know that?
don't force yourself to lose weight.
there is already copious amounts of stress on your shoulders.
if i could help sustain the weight, i would choose to do so, in a single breath.

hang in there.

you have so much love to give to her.
you don't even know how to express it.
i'm glad you're making the effort for once,
but you need to hold on with open hands.
please extinguish those insecurities my brother.
for we are nothing without brotherhood,
and brotherhood is nothing without your brothers.

you are such a great person.
involving yourself in so many activities is exhausting.
but you pull it off so well.
i'm actually overcome with jealousy.
and you are very passionate for you believe to be right.
that is something i think everyone can respect.
although you need to stop talking to her.
i know you won't for anyone, but i'm telling you,
man to man,
she tore apart your relationship before.
she will not hesitate to do it again.

choose wisely.

so many guys are after you right now.
i'm sure that can't be too easy.
you are probably the most damaged out of all of us.
i want to help you, but i feel like i can't.
no one can make your decisions for you.
you know what you want.
i sense this. and you know how to get it and retain it.
your head spins like a winding wheel.
to be honest, it's getting way out of hand.

stop being so self-righteous.
you are not always right.
your moments do come though,
and they always shine vibrantly.
you expose your brilliance from time to time.
you just need to maintain that level of selfishness.
cause that has been the center of the blame.

i care about you too much.
you the closest to family i have.
and i love you as a brother.
mark my words, we will get through this.

inebriation and medication is not the only solution.
you are one of my closest friends.
my trust for you surpasses my comprehension.
but unfortunately, so does your ego.
you are experimenting with the wrong variables.
don't you dare drag us down.
you've inspired me in an immense way.
maybe you should follow some of your advice.

i hate you.
you make me come and go,
full fucking circle.
you are more of a presence to me now.
you're more than just a being.
i feel your delicate hands in the rain.
some mornings, i wake up,
and i could swear that you were just playing with my hair.
or rubbing my cheeks.
or singing to me.
anything. like you never left.
and that's why i hate you.
and i hate you, because i am so in love with you.
so irrevocably in love.
i have already accepted all that you have done,
all you will do, and it scares me.
i never knew i could trust anyone this much.
like my heart can actually grow and prosper.
and love.
my heart is stupified, in such a profound fashion.
i love you.

i love you all.
if i had to make one wish,
it would be so we could all be a family again.
i never loved my blood family.
and i know this cause i never cared for them as much as i care about you.
every single one of you.
and although your decisions inflict harm on those involved.
you better never forget that it hurts me just as bad.
and i'd like to think i'm not the only one who feels that way.
but lately, i don't know.