i was either born to resist, or to abuse compassion.
lately, i'm not sure which.
is there a middle ground?
can such stable footing exist?
maybe we're supposed to bounce back and forth.
live and let die.
i want to burn my own path in the wildlife.
do i really have to give in order to take?
can i just collect what i have learn and create a new product?
will someone be proud of me?
is there really a danger in starting such a fire?
do i have to walk this incendiary trail by myself?
how many bridges will i burn in my wake?
i can't help how much i miss you.
everyone says stay true to yourself.
stay true to those who surround you.
this is how my heart is, this is what i feel.
every single day, every single hour.
when you leaned in close to me,
what is it that you hoped you would find?
i love you, with every breath.
you whisper such melodies in my soul.
i have found the harmony.
sometimes, we sing off key.
oh god.
i have fallen for you completely.
the sad thing,
i need you tonight.
my dreams have been haunting me yet again.
will you come, and stop these images.
please?
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Act XI: There and Back Again; Exorcism
November 9th, 2011-
"Today is the day where we truly fell in love.
I looked at you.
You looked at me.
We fell irrevocably,
deeply, in love.
These feelings are so overwhelming.
I feel as though I have seen beauty until this night.
This has to be real.
As unbelievable it may be,
it's real.
I love this.
Gosh you are so beautiful.
Stunning.
I will always remember the bravery you have shown
telling me what you told me.
Always.I love you delicate.
I love you."
"Today is the day where we truly fell in love.
I looked at you.
You looked at me.
We fell irrevocably,
deeply, in love.
These feelings are so overwhelming.
I feel as though I have seen beauty until this night.
This has to be real.
As unbelievable it may be,
it's real.
I love this.
Gosh you are so beautiful.
Stunning.
I will always remember the bravery you have shown
telling me what you told me.
Always.I love you delicate.
I love you."
Friday, February 10, 2012
Act X: Such Pretty Liars
have you ever seen the sun kiss the stars good morning?
the sand sleeping on the shore glistened like cloaked diamonds.
it was my eyes that held such heavenly glory.
i was crying.
i didn't know why.
i didn't even know exactly where i was,
but i knew i had to leave.
there was a tugging on my arm which led me into a very small town.
this town was alive, but there were no crowds.
no hustle, but there was a steady, murmuring heartbeat.
my eyes were out of focus.
my feet led my body, no destination.
however, they stopped at a train station.
train 814, departing at 11:09 p.m.
it was haunting, how there was no one at the station,
but there was one man, standing there.
he was wearing sweats, and a flannel.
he was also wearing moccasins.
honestly, you would've never looked twice at him in a crowd.
his hair was long, reddish brown.
his beard was untidy, bags wearing heavy under his brow.
i do not know this man.
his face grants no recognition in my memory.
so there we were.
waiting for 814.
it arrived and i do not remember boarding 814.
i was near the front while he was sitting across the walkway.
staring at the window.
he finally spoke.
"it's funny how this world has come to such a stagnant existence.
we search for love, but know not what it is.
we long for truth, but know not what it sounds like.
we want happiness, but know not it's meaning.
we need hope, but know not the price it demands."
then he came to me.
his eyes searching for a hint of life.
he grabbed my hands, and whispered,
"speak the truth, love with all of your heart.
show hope to all those who are lost, and sick, and longing.
no matter how the world may strike you down,
you must always love.
this world, this life is overcome with despair and illness."
the train came to a halt.
he squeezed my hands once, very lightly.
his lips grazed my cheek delicately.
as he walked away, he began to hum.
the melody grew as he paced down the corridor of 814.
"such pretty, insignificant, little liars, are we not?"
i knew at once who he was.
he was myself.
then the clouds gathering in the sky above.
they wept.
tears, or rain, or whatever i needed at that moment.
i'm still not sure.
the sand sleeping on the shore glistened like cloaked diamonds.
it was my eyes that held such heavenly glory.
i was crying.
i didn't know why.
i didn't even know exactly where i was,
but i knew i had to leave.
there was a tugging on my arm which led me into a very small town.
this town was alive, but there were no crowds.
no hustle, but there was a steady, murmuring heartbeat.
my eyes were out of focus.
my feet led my body, no destination.
however, they stopped at a train station.
train 814, departing at 11:09 p.m.
it was haunting, how there was no one at the station,
but there was one man, standing there.
he was wearing sweats, and a flannel.
he was also wearing moccasins.
honestly, you would've never looked twice at him in a crowd.
his hair was long, reddish brown.
his beard was untidy, bags wearing heavy under his brow.
i do not know this man.
his face grants no recognition in my memory.
so there we were.
waiting for 814.
it arrived and i do not remember boarding 814.
i was near the front while he was sitting across the walkway.
staring at the window.
he finally spoke.
"it's funny how this world has come to such a stagnant existence.
we search for love, but know not what it is.
we long for truth, but know not what it sounds like.
we want happiness, but know not it's meaning.
we need hope, but know not the price it demands."
then he came to me.
his eyes searching for a hint of life.
he grabbed my hands, and whispered,
"speak the truth, love with all of your heart.
show hope to all those who are lost, and sick, and longing.
no matter how the world may strike you down,
you must always love.
this world, this life is overcome with despair and illness."
the train came to a halt.
he squeezed my hands once, very lightly.
his lips grazed my cheek delicately.
as he walked away, he began to hum.
the melody grew as he paced down the corridor of 814.
"such pretty, insignificant, little liars, are we not?"
i knew at once who he was.
he was myself.
then the clouds gathering in the sky above.
they wept.
tears, or rain, or whatever i needed at that moment.
i'm still not sure.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Act IX: Always is Always
and always is valueless.
you have no idea how much good you do in my life.
there are moments where the current knocks us off our feet,
but sometimes i need that sinking feeling.
the one you get when the one you love the most,
the one you love more than anyone before them,
you know the feeling?
i need that. i give in to it time and time again.
not because i'm desperate, or i feel trapped.
i just like the way you pull me back up.
above the surface, our love stays afloat.
you rescue me,
mayday.
you save me,
mayday.
i don't know exactly how it is that you came to me.
i think that fate was always a foolish excuse as to why things happen.
not everything has a set course.
it wasn't fate that brought me to you, or you to me.
there doesn't have to be a reason.
we as people always want to know why.
we want reasons, and we often want them as quickly as they're beckoned for.
why would i want to question why things came to be?
all that really should matter is that we are, right?
sometimes, i wish people took a step out of their lives for a minute.
lose focus on the concentration we put on all the negative aspects in life.
something beautiful is taking form.
this is not a cliche.
i fall even more in love with you every single day.
the best thing that could be happening, is happening to you and i.
when i am laying in bed at night.
i think about spending my life with you.
growing old, getting married,
doing all the things we swore we would do as children and young adults.
being happy, like we always wanted.
we always want to be happy.
that's something i could accomplish with you.
something i'd to experience with no one else.
and then i fall deep into slumber,
with a smile, and heart bursting like a supernova.
mayday.. mayday...
mayday...
mayday.
you have no idea how much good you do in my life.
there are moments where the current knocks us off our feet,
but sometimes i need that sinking feeling.
the one you get when the one you love the most,
the one you love more than anyone before them,
you know the feeling?
i need that. i give in to it time and time again.
not because i'm desperate, or i feel trapped.
i just like the way you pull me back up.
above the surface, our love stays afloat.
you rescue me,
mayday.
you save me,
mayday.
i don't know exactly how it is that you came to me.
i think that fate was always a foolish excuse as to why things happen.
not everything has a set course.
it wasn't fate that brought me to you, or you to me.
there doesn't have to be a reason.
we as people always want to know why.
we want reasons, and we often want them as quickly as they're beckoned for.
why would i want to question why things came to be?
all that really should matter is that we are, right?
sometimes, i wish people took a step out of their lives for a minute.
lose focus on the concentration we put on all the negative aspects in life.
something beautiful is taking form.
this is not a cliche.
i fall even more in love with you every single day.
the best thing that could be happening, is happening to you and i.
when i am laying in bed at night.
i think about spending my life with you.
growing old, getting married,
doing all the things we swore we would do as children and young adults.
being happy, like we always wanted.
we always want to be happy.
that's something i could accomplish with you.
something i'd to experience with no one else.
and then i fall deep into slumber,
with a smile, and heart bursting like a supernova.
mayday.. mayday...
mayday...
mayday.
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