Outro: Eastbound Past Unfamiliar Boundaries

you have seen wonders beyond measure behind my eyes.
i beckon for your stare for they are my saving grace.
please, look at me.
fall deeper into this ocean of mine.
these waterblue eyes that you're so in love with.
your unsteady touch traces the lines of my delicate hands.
i'm so frail, i'm so weak.
do you even know what you're getting yourself into?
is this more than you bargained for?

what a bunch of fools we lovers are.
hell bent for a inch of time.
already coming to terms of how time will change us.
we've got our fingers crossed.
learn to let go and let live again.
whoever called the snow a blanket has never felt the cold.
welcoming this tundra,
slipping on the ice over and over and over and over and over..
oh honey, i've slipped on the ice too many times before.
i've grasped for your sleeve many times as of late.
the shadow of winter tugging at me.
slipping away.

this is only a beginning though.
as when the flowers come into bloom as the frigid breeze,
meets the sun-kissed leaves that have yet to decompose.
and like the sun, i have always been here since dawn.
i prove it when night meets the day.
this love has the consistency of time.
always pushing forward, the past has passed us by.
petrified, a cornerstone of compassion and pain.
we will never be the same.
not ever, not again.

yet as the months drag,
you carry the dynamics of a harp,
as the delicate fingers pluck the strings.
light as a feather,
precise as a scalpel.
we started out singing the keys with dissonance.
and with time and affection, we hold a consonance.
we move as one, perfectly, by instinct.
it's okay, darling.
be free to the feeling.

maybe one day we'll find the time,
where our dreams and reality collide.
i believe it starts with a touch.
that escalates into an embrace.
where we fit together perfectly,
like two puzzle pieces molded from clay.

so sleep well when you get there delicate.
and know i have loved you, since the rain poured over us.
like many times before, and many times to come.
i love you, now and always.

i don't know what it is about you that makes me unsure if i'm coming or going.
but i'm going full circle, and i have been.

Act XIV: The Shapes We Make

my body is transparent.
stained glass.
splitting the light that shines through me.
straight to my heart.
i scatter, refracting the spectrum.
we lose what is most bright,
we keep what is most dark.

other times, this masterpiece i call myself can be seen as a whole picture.
this is a story.
the letters make the heart flutter, stutter like adjectives.
bending across our crooked tongues.
we all know evil.
we speak it.
other times, we speak of what's pure and what's sweet.
we are not arid.
we are not barren.

writing people in.
writing people out.
the only constant in this narrative is stage and the cast.
stories alter, there is a vague, but vivid filter.
this light continues to refract.
this light continues to split.

it has been said before.
the circle will remain a circle.
trails burning white hot.
our feet exhausted with the weight of what could have been,
what should be, what hasn't come to light yet.

you spin stories like yarn.
the knots tangle us to one another.
our calloused fingertips grow like armour.
and what often confuses me,
is how we can be so sensitive and understanding,
but be as immovable as sedimentary structures
that the tectonics of this society has shaped us into.

"that's the problem with humanity.
we all try so hard to be special and unique,
to stand out,
that we forget we are all just human.
just. human.
not that being a human doesn't have it's perks.
not that i don't love this beautiful and tragic existence.
what happened to the collective consciousness?"

our bodies are not bottles.
our blood bears no message.
time and love cannot be bent in or out of shape.
we are who we are.
what has happened has already come to pass.
to move on is to grow.
no matter how desperate you are to find your niche.
your slot in this dying world.
the cave in your chest is nothing,
absolutely nothing,
compared to the immense size of our tender, yet worn down hearts.

we are not barren.

Act XIII: Cumberbatch

my heart has a certain beauty to it.
a radiance that only you have been able to lure out of me.
this side of me has never seen the light of day.
a light you have created,
casting thin shadows.
storms may gather,
rain may douse the pastures,
but the shelter we have created with our love brave any weather.

you don't ever have to worry.
this is now our story.
and i am always here.

when you're away,
passion builds inside like steam,
overwhelming my body,
and it rages until we meet and it's all exhausted.
then it comes back, full circle.
i'm spinning, delicate.
spinning around, insane and distorted.
my nocturnal being smolders when you're absent from my bed.
after you leave, i often bury my face in my pillow.
taking in your perfume, scanning the threads for any trace of your presence.
then there are the nights where i lay awake,
i can vividly remember my face in your neck.
listening to you, faintly breathing.
short and sporadic.
this often leads to my eyes going wet.
i want you so bad.
i miss you so much.
the lack of feeling is excruciating.
the poison courses through me.
venom in my veins.

our next meeting is the antidote.
i fall over getting lost in your steps.
the curves sending me over the edge.
you touch my face,
it's like i have never been touched.
i hear you giggle,
it's like you are happiness in all it's glory.
you say my name,
it's like it was you who has named me.
when you say i love you,
it's like no one else has ever touched my heart.

maybe no one ever has.
at least not like you have.
i may not know much,
but you are the girl i want in my life.
the one i want to fall asleep holding,
and wake up kissing the morning hello.
i may not be able to offer much,
but i will love you.
fiercely, but with a patient hand and a loving soul.
no one will love you like i will.
i know this to be true.
that's all i know how to give.

Act XII: Needful Things

i was either born to resist, or to abuse compassion.
lately, i'm not sure which.
is there a middle ground?
can such stable footing exist?
maybe we're supposed to bounce back and forth.
live and let die.

i want to burn my own path in the wildlife.
do i really have to give in order to take?
can i just collect what i have learn and create a new product?
will someone be proud of me?
is there really a danger in starting such a fire?
do i have to walk this incendiary trail by myself?

how many bridges will i burn in my wake?

i can't help how much i miss you.
everyone says stay true to yourself.
stay true to those who surround you.
this is how my heart is, this is what i feel.
every single day, every single hour.
when you leaned in close to me,
what is it that you hoped you would find?

i love you, with every breath.
you whisper such melodies in my soul.
i have found the harmony.
sometimes, we sing off key.
oh god.
i have fallen for you completely.

the sad thing,
i need you tonight.
my dreams have been haunting me yet again.
will you come, and stop these images.
please?

Act XI: There and Back Again; Exorcism

November 9th, 2011-

"Today is the day where we truly fell in love.
I looked at you.
You looked at me.
We fell irrevocably,
deeply, in love.
These feelings are so overwhelming.
I feel as though I have seen beauty until this night.
This has to be real.
As unbelievable it may be,
it's real.
I love this.
Gosh you are so beautiful.
Stunning.
I will always remember the bravery you have shown
telling me what you told me.
Always.I love you delicate.
I love you."

Act X: Such Pretty Liars

have you ever seen the sun kiss the stars good morning?
the sand sleeping on the shore glistened like cloaked diamonds.
it was my eyes that held such heavenly glory.
i was crying.
i didn't know why.
i didn't even know exactly where i was,
but i knew i had to leave.
there was a tugging on my arm which led me into a very small town.
this town was alive, but there were no crowds.
no hustle, but there was a steady, murmuring heartbeat.
my eyes were out of focus.
my feet led my body, no destination.
however, they stopped at a train station.
train 814, departing at 11:09 p.m.
it was haunting, how there was no one at the station,
but there was one man, standing there.
he was wearing sweats, and a flannel.
he was also wearing moccasins.
honestly, you would've never looked twice at him in a crowd.
his hair was long, reddish brown.
his beard was untidy, bags wearing heavy under his brow.
i do not know this man.
his face grants no recognition in my memory.


so there we were.
waiting for 814.
it arrived and i do not remember boarding 814.
i was near the front while he was sitting across the walkway.
staring at the window.
he finally spoke.
"it's funny how this world has come to such a stagnant existence.
we search for love, but know not what it is.
we long for truth, but know not what it sounds like.
we want happiness, but know not it's meaning.
we need hope, but know not the price it demands."
then he came to me.
his eyes searching for a hint of life.
he grabbed my hands, and whispered,
"speak the truth, love with all of your heart.
show hope to all those who are lost, and sick, and longing.
no matter how the world may strike you down,
you must always love.
this world, this life is overcome with despair and illness."
the train came to a halt.
he squeezed my hands once, very lightly.
his lips grazed my cheek delicately.
as he walked away, he began to hum.
the melody grew as he paced down the corridor of 814.
"such pretty, insignificant, little liars, are we not?"

i knew at once who he was.
he was myself.
then the clouds gathering in the sky above.
they wept.
tears, or rain, or whatever i needed at that moment.
i'm still not sure.

Act IX: Always is Always

and always is valueless.

you have no idea how much good you do in my life.
there are moments where the current knocks us off our feet,
but sometimes i need that sinking feeling.
the one you get when the one you love the most,
the one you love more than anyone before them,
you know the feeling?
i need that. i give in to it time and time again.
not because i'm desperate, or i feel trapped.
i just like the way you pull me back up.
above the surface, our love stays afloat.
you rescue me,
mayday.
you save me,
mayday.

i don't know exactly how it is that you came to me.
i think that fate was always a foolish excuse as to why things happen.
not everything has a set course.
it wasn't fate that brought me to you, or you to me.
there doesn't have to be a reason.
we as people always want to know why.
we want reasons, and we often want them as quickly as they're beckoned for.
why would i want to question why things came to be?
all that really should matter is that we are, right?
sometimes, i wish people took a step out of their lives for a minute.
lose focus on the concentration we put on all the negative aspects in life.
something beautiful is taking form.
this is not a cliche.
i fall even more in love with you every single day.
the best thing that could be happening, is happening to you and i.

when i am laying in bed at night.
i think about spending my life with you.
growing old, getting married,
doing all the things we swore we would do as children and young adults.
being happy, like we always wanted.
we always want to be happy.
that's something i could accomplish with you.
something i'd to experience with no one else.
and then i fall deep into slumber,
with a smile, and heart bursting like a supernova.
mayday.. mayday...
mayday...
mayday.